Parenting Through Phases: Embracing Change and Letting Go of Labels

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from raising my four children is that nothing stays the same for long. Kids grow, change, and go through countless phases—some delightful, some exhausting, but all temporary. I used to think everything was permanent: My baby is a terrible sleeper. My toddler is impossible to potty train. My child is a biter. But I’ve come to realize that these labels don’t define them. They’re just passing moments in time, and before you know it, your child is on to the next phase.

The Temporary Nature of Challenges

I remember when my first baby wouldn’t sleep through the night. I was convinced I’d never sleep again. I read all the books, tried all the methods, and still found myself up at 2 a.m. rocking and feeding a fussy baby. I envied those parents whose babies magically slept through the night. (Honestly, I suspect some of them just didn’t wake up to hear their babies crying!)

If you’re someone who needs sleep to function (like I do), this phase can feel like pure torture. But I promise, it doesn’t last forever. You find ways to cope, you get support, and before you know it, you’re in a new phase—one where you’re actually getting rest and reminiscing on how you survived that phase.  Seriously, if I get woken up now, I can't function the next day.  I look back and when my babies weren't sleeping and wonder how I survived getting up multiple times a night!

Potty Training and the Power of Perspective

Potty training was another phase that tested my patience. With one of my kids, I was convinced they’d be in diapers forever. No matter what I tried, they kept having accidents. Then one day, my mother-in-law gave me a nugget of wisdom that changed everything. She said, “My pediatrician gave me some great advice about potty training.  He said, 'Do you see any adults who aren’t potty trained? It will happen. Don’t stress about it.'”

That hit me hard. I was so caught up in the moment, worrying that my child would never get it, that I lost perspective. And sure enough, after making a sticker chart, I could see that he was slowly improving.  As the days passed, more and more stickers started to fill the chart.  He was making progress, I just hadn't realized.  And one day, he was potty trained! This taught me a valuable lesson: kids do things in their own time. Our job isn’t to force them, but to guide them with love, patience, and persistence.  And when we're feeling frustrated or hopeless, remembering that kids go through phases helps shift our perspective to a more positive and loving outlook.

Looking back, I wish I had worried less because every stage comes and goes. One day, you’ll be out of the sleep-deprived baby years. Then, before you know it, your kids will be learning to drive and you'll be thinking sleepless nights weren't so bad! 

That’s not to say parenting doesn’t come with real worries.  But in most cases, having a little perspective—and reminding yourself that everything is just a phase—can make parenting a whole lot less stressful.  And, it can remind you that you need to relish each phase, because some of those phases are actually adorable and worth remembering.